The Submitable Husband and the Lovable Wife (2) [The Truth About Submission]

Main Passage

Ephesians 5:21-33 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which He is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1. Wives, tell me all of the negative associations you have experienced of heard of regarding this passage?(MULTILINE)
2. Wives, do you believe that the instruction for wives to submit to their husbands was a manmade instruction or from God? Why?(MULTILINE)
3. Wives, have you ever felt oppressed or suppressed in your marriage? Why?(MULTILINE)
4. Why might the passage give the impression that wives should do whatever their husbands want?(MULTILINE)

Context, Context, Context:

• To subordinate; reflexively to obey:– be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self-unto.

Ephesians 6:1; 5

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.

5. What is the difference between a dictator and a leader?(MULTILINE)

• Dictator: A person who rules with complete power and often gains control by force.
• Leader: A person who manages other people. Especially because of his or her ability or position.

6. Because marital submission is a kingdom truth, what should that submission produce?(MULTILINE)

John 8:32 – You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

7. What is biblical submission?(MULTILINE)
8. Are men superior to women? Why?(MULTILINE)
   1. Why do we live in a male dominant world?(MULTILINE)

Genesis 3:16 – He said to the woman: I will intensify your labor pains; you will bear children in anguish. Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you.

9. Before sin, did Adam desire to rule over Eve?(MULTILINE)
   1. What did Eve’s curse do to Adam?(MULTILINE)

Galatians 3:13 AMP – Christ purchased our freedom and redeemed us from the curse of the Law and its condemnation by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs [crucified] on a tree (cross)”

10. What does “as unto the Lord” mean?(MULTILINE)
11. Why do you submit to the Lord? How do you do it?(MULTILINE)

Matthew 16:24 AMP – Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to follow Me [as My disciple], he must deny himself [set aside selfish interests], and take up his cross [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me].”

3 Keys of Godly Submission:

• Deny self
• Put on an attitude of endurance
• Follow the leader(MULTILINE)

John 10:11-18 11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So, when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then,the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.

14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.

 17 The reason my Father loves Me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”

12. Why does the Church willingly submit to Christ?(MULTILINE)

1 John 4:18-19 – 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 

Headship:

Ephesians 5:23 – For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior.

13. What does mean to be the “head” of something or someone?(MULTILINE)
14. Does the husband have more authority than the wife?(MULTILINE)
    1. Does the husband have authority over his wife? Why?(MULTILINE)

“A partnership with a 51/49 percent controlling interest gives the 51% owner the majority of the decision-making power in the company.” – startups.com

“While a 51/49 partnership can give the 51% owner a lot of control, it can also create risks for both partners: The 49% owner may feel that the 51% owner doesn’t listen to them or pay attention to their concerns. The 51% owner may risk alienating the 49% owner, who could become disillusioned (having lost faith or trust in something formerly regarded as good or valuable).” – cenkuslaw.com

15. Is marriage a 51/49 partnership?(MULTILINE)
    1. If so, why?(MULTILINE)
    2. If not, what is it?(MULTILINE)

“Some say that 50/50 partnerships are better if the partners trust each other and believe they can work together as equals. However, 50/50 partnerships can lead to stalemates, so partners should decide how to resolve conflicts ahead of time.” – startups.com

16. Is marriage a 50/50 partnership?(MULTILINE)
    1. If so, why?(MULTILINE)
    2. If not, what is it?(MULTILINE)

Partnership: A relationship resembling a legal connection and usually involving close cooperation between parties having specified and joint rights and responsibilities.

17. What is marriage?(MULTILINE)

Matthew 19:4-5 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?

18. The passage states that “the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church.
    1. How is Christ the head of the Church?(MULTILINE)

1 John 3:16 – This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

Ephesians 1:18-23 18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people,19 and His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength 20 He exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms, 21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. 22 And God placed all things under His feet and appointed Him to be head over everything for the church, 23 which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills everything in every way.

19. With the husband being the head, what is the wife’s position of authority?(MULTILINE)

The Awesome Position of the Wife

Genesis 2:18 – The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

Hebrew: [êzer (Ay’zer)](MULTILINE)

Psalm 121:1-2 1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 33:20 – We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.

Psalm 124:8 – Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Genesis 2:18-20 – 18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

20. What does “Helper” mean?(MULTILINE)

1. Is “Helper” a position of authority?(MULTILINE)

John 14:16-17; 25-27 AMP

16 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), to be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive [and take to its heart] because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He (the Holy Spirit) remains with you continually and will be in you.

John 14:25-27 25 “All this I have spoken while still with you. 26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

22. Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you…” How did He give us His peace? How did He leave His peace with us?(MULTILINE)

Romans 8:26 AMP – 26 In the same way the Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words.

Article: Endeavor Health

One part of the male brain is larger than the female brain: the inferior-parietal lobule, which is linked to solving math problems, judging speed and estimating time. Women instead tend to have a larger hippocampus and more neural connection density, meaning they are able to process and absorb more emotional and sensory information.

Women also tend to have more grey matter in their brains. Grey matter helps the body process information in the brain related to muscle control, sensory perception, memory and emotions. However, women typically use more white matter, which is the network of nerve fibers that facilitate the exchange of information and communication between different areas of the brain.

“This can help explain why men often display an affinity for action-based or task-focused projects, while women often perform well when it comes to things like multitasking, language and interpreting emotions,” said Dr. Meyers.

Galatians 5:22-23 ESV But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

John 15:11-13 AMP 11 I have told you these things so that My joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy may be made full and complete and overflowing. 12 “This is My commandment, that you love and unselfishly seek the best for one another, just as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends.

John 15:13-14 AMP 13 No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you keep on doing what I command you.

23. We learned that promoting the wife’s joy should be the husband’s top priority in marriage.
    1. What should the wife’s top priority be, in the marriage?(MULTILINE)

Colossians 3:13-15 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

24. How does a wife lay down her frustrations and hurt feelings?(MULTILINE)
25. How can a wife help and create peace, when she feels unloved and is without joy?(MULTILINE)

1 Peter 1:3-5; 6-9 ESV

The Context:

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

The Passage of Focus: (Let’s look at this passage through the eyes of unfulfilled wives)

6 In this [hope of your inheritance] you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 

8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.