I Have This Friend…Struggling With Homosexuality | I Have This Friend, Part 6

October 15, 2023   /   Crosstown Alliance Church

IHTF, pt 6 – I have this friend whose is struggling with Homosexuality/Transgenderism

1 Peter1 3:15

but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,

We are to have Compassion for people without compromising God’s Word

What does my friend believe, think, or feel…

Struggling with their sexuality/identity

Hurting from being treated poorly

Confused as a result of harmful lies

Lost/hardened to the truths of Scripture

2 Corinthians 4:4

In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.

Important Definitions

Sex – historically meant male and female, typically in reference to chromosomes, reproductive organs, and external genitals.

Gender Identity – A person’s own self-perception if they are male or female, masculine or feminine. The belief that gender is fluid and not based on biology but a person’s own preference and feelings.

Gender fluidity – The idea that people can actually move back and forth across genders, becoming Non-binary.

Gender dysphoria – a sense of mismatch between your physical sex/anatomy and your psychological gender identity. The feeling that the brain is at war with the body.

Transgender – switching genders. It has essentially become an umbrella term for many experiences in gender identity that do not align with a person’s actual sex.

Affirmation therapy – By accepting and affirming someone’s new gender identity, that person’s mental health will improve and thoughts of suicide will decrease.

Romans 12:1-2

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

The World says listen to your mind and permanently alter your body.

The Bible says embrace the body that God intentionally gave you and allow him to transform your mind.

As a friend, one of our roles is to draw their attention to the powerful role feelings play in our life, especially ones that are not in alignment with the truth of Scripture. (Romans 1)


What does the Bible have to say…

Genesis 1:27

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Humans are created in the image of God, intentionally

There are only 2 genders

Our bodies have divine purpose and function

Rejection of one’s biological sex is a rejection of the image of God

Genesis 2:22-24

And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said,“This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Men and women are equal but distinct

Eve was pulled from the sacred architecture of God’s design in Adam.

Men and women are intentionally designed beings that support God’s design for humanity.

The only proper place for a sexual relationship is within the context of God’s intended design for marriage—one man, one woman, for life.

Matthew 19:4-6

“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What thereforeGod has joined together, let not man separate.”

Matthew 19:10-12

The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs forthe sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

Ultimately, our identity is not found in how our body looks but in where our faith is placed.(Ex. Ethiopian Eunuch, Acts 8:26-39)

Romans 1:26-27

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.

It’s totally normal to be attracted physically, romantically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually to other people, and we want you to know…It’s okay to have a crush on someone of the same sex or gender,” – Google

1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.


How do I have meaningful conversations with this friend…

Romans 2:4

“…God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance”

1 Corinthians 5:12-13a

For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside.

John 13:35

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

1. Show compassion without compromising truth

Colossians 4:5-6

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

2. Speak the truth in love

Proverbs 16:24

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Ephesians 4:15

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ

3. Gently remind them what’s at stake

Proverbs 16:25

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

Romans 1 (Selected verses)

18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. 24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves,25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! 26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. 28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.

4. Invite them to consider Jesus

Christianity is not primarily a new set of behaviors to follow but a new identity to embrace.

Until we find our rest in Christ we will be trying to invent ourselves in ways that only end in tears…We have been made by Jesus for Jesus and will only truly know ourselves and beourselves in Christ. Therefore, finding our identity in him is really the only place for any of us to begin.” – Pastor Rob Smith on the Ask Pastor John (Piper) podcast


What is one prayer that I can consistently pray for them…

“Lord, would you change my friend’s heart? Replace their unnatural sinful desires & views foryour heart and mind. And Lord, help me have spiritual eyes to see what is the real battle. Helpmy heart reach out with compassion and love so that they would see your love for them.”


What next step do I need to take…

1. Familiarize yourself with Biblical resources re:LGBTQ+ issues

2. Have a respectful conversation with someone who struggles to see God’s design forhuman sexuality

3. Give them a Bible to read

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