1-2 Samuel Week Forty-One: 2 Samuel 13:1-22

Now it was after this that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David loved her. ² Amnon was so frustrated because of his sister Tamar that he made himself ill, for she was a virgin, and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her. ³ But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother; and Jonadab was a very shrewd man. ⁴ He said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so depressed morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Then Amnon said to him, “I am in love with Tamar, the sister of my brother Absalom.” ⁵ Jonadab then said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill; when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me some food to eat, and let her prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat from her hand.’” ⁶ So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”

⁷ Then David sent to the house for Tamar, saying, “Go now to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” ⁸ So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, and he was lying down. And she took dough, kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. ⁹ She took the pan and dished them out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” So everyone went out from him. ¹⁰ Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” So Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them into the bedroom to her brother Amnon. ¹¹ When she brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” ¹² But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful thing! ¹³ As for me, where could I get rid of my reproach? And as for you, you will be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” ¹⁴ However, he would not listen to her; since he was stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her.

¹⁵ Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred; for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up, go away!” ¹⁶ But she said to him, “No, because this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you have done to me!” Yet he would not listen to her. ¹⁷ Then he called his young man who attended him and said, “Now throw this woman out of my presence, and lock the door behind her.” ¹⁸ Now she had on a long-sleeved garment; for in this manner the virgin daughters of the king dressed themselves in robes. Then his attendant took her out and locked the door behind her. ¹⁹ Tamar put ashes on her head and tore her long-sleeved garment which was on her; and she put her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.

²⁰ Then Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now keep silent, my sister, he is your brother; do not take this matter to heart.” So Tamar remained and was desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. ²¹ Now when King David heard of all these matters, he was very angry. ²² But Absalom did not speak to Amnon either good or bad; for Absalom hated Amnon because he had violated his sister Tamar.

—2 Samuel 13:1-22

Sermon Outline

1. Forgiveness is

2. Sin
   1. Deal with your sin so your don’t have to

   2. Deal with your sin before get hurt

   3. Deal with your sin before you lose the ability to others

References

Weekly Study Guide

As we progress through life, our priorities naturally change. Early on in life, we may seek after popularity, significance, or worth. Later in life, many of us pursue fame, power, or riches. Clearly, as we grow older our perspective shifts; our priorities are no longer the same. As we age, we begin to think in terms of legacy. What is the legacy we will leave our children and grandchildren? In other words, what mark will we leave on the world? How will we be remembered? In the covenant before us, this question of legacy is the question being addressed, and is the gift that God is giving to David. Here, God reveals in His promise to David that he will not be a “one-off” king like Saul was before him. God reveals that one of David’s descendants will always be on the throne of Israel. That’s a pretty remarkable legacy. But this promise is so much more than that. Not only would David’s line be the perpetual kingly line throughout the rest of time, but the Anointed One, the Messiah, the ultimate King for whom all of creation was longing, yearning, and waiting, would come from his family as well. The King of Kings would be a Davidic king. That is the incredible gift God gives to David. He reveals that David’s name would mean something. His legacy would be profound.

As we have mentioned before, these final three covenants (Land, Davidic, and New) flow from the three aspects of the Abrahamic Covenant (land, seed, and blessing). In the Davidic Covenant, God is unveiling more information about His “seed” promise to Abraham. In 2 Samuel 7 and 1 Chronicles 17, we are given the details about this covenant. If you’ve taken the time to read the parallel account of David’s life in 1 Chronicles, you will immediately notice the similarities to 2 Samuel. You might ask why 1 Chronicles would repeat all the same information about these events that we are given back in 2 Samuel. If you’ll recall, we have discussed how God not only reveals His will and His desires to His people, but He will often repeat the same information for a new generation who needs to be reminded. We saw this in God’s Law being revealed through Moses to the people of Israel at Mt. Sinai, right at the beginning of their wilderness wanderings. But then, some 40 years later, after that Exodus generation died out in the wilderness, God repeated the entire Law for the next generation through Moses just as they were poised to enter the Promised Land.

In the same way, the story of God’s work in the United Kingdom period under Saul, David, and Solomon was initially given in 1^st & 2^nd Samuel. But then, much later, after the people had returned from the Babylonian Captivity, this new generation needed to be reminded of God’s faithfulness. Thus, when we read through 1^st & 2^nd Chronicles, we see much of the same information, but with a difference. If you notice, the retelling has a much more positive, hopeful tone. These people had just endured the worst experience imaginable. They had lost their nation, and the temple was destroyed. Then after God brought them back from Babylon and into their land, they needed to be reminded that God was with them and that there was hope. So, when the stories we remember from 1^st & 2^nd Samuel are retold in 1^st & 2^nd Chronicles, many of the negative episodes are not highlighted. The more optimistic events are recounted. This reminds us that these “histories” in scripture are not merely histories. They are theological histories—histories with a purpose. Thus, we have two accounts of the Davidic Covenant in scripture. Although in the 2 Samuel and 1 Chronicles passages the term “covenant” is not used, several other passages in scripture refer to this promise to David as a covenant (2 Sam 23:5; Ps 89:3-4, 28-37, 132:11-12).

This is the Davidic Covenant as described in 2 Samuel 7:8-17:

Now then, this is what you shall say to My servant David: ‘This is what the LORD of armies says: “I Myself took you from the pasture, from following the sheep, to be leader over My people Israel. And I have been with you wherever you have gone, and have eliminated all your enemies from you; I will also make a great name for you, like the names of the great men who are on the earth. And I will establish a place for My people Israel, and will plant them, so that they may live in their own place and not be disturbed again, nor will malicious people oppress them anymore as previously, even from the day that I appointed judges over My people Israel; and I will give you rest from all your enemies. The LORD also declares to you that the LORD will make a house for you. When your days are finished and you lie down with your fathers, I will raise up your descendant after you, who will come from you, and I will establish his kingdom. He shall build a house for My name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be a father to him and he will be a son to Me; when he does wrong, I will discipline him with a rod of men and with strokes of sons of mankind, but My favor shall not depart from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from you. Your house and your kingdom shall endure before Me forever; your throne shall be established forever.”’” In accordance with all these words and all of this vision, so Nathan spoke to David.

God begins by reminding David of all that He has done for him. It’s as if God is saying, “Thanks David, but everything you have, I gave to you. You were a shepherd boy, and I raised you up to be a king. I fought your battles for you and gave you success. Everything you are, you owe to Me. I appreciate your heart for me, but you don’t need to repay me for anything. In fact, I am going to bless you even more. I am going to give you a blessing that you could not even imagine, even if you tried.” Then God reveals two elements of the covenant He is making with David—two aspects of this overwhelming promise.

First, God says, I will establish a place for My people Israel. I will plant them and give them an eternal home. They will not be disturbed or harassed anymore. And I will give them rest from all their enemies. We see the fulfillment of this, in part, during the reigns of David and Solomon. This was the golden age of Israel’s history. Throughout the rest of Israel’s history, kings are always compared with the greatest king: David. But just as He does with many other prophecies, God gives the people an initial, partial fulfillment, and then later, He enacts the full, final, and complete fulfillment of His promise. The initial fulfillment is often a preview—a picture of what is coming in that final fulfillment. In this case, Israel, indeed, saw a time of blessedness under Solomon that was a preview of what would come in the Millennium—when all the aspects of the Land Covenant would be finally fulfilled. Then, during that 1,000-year Millennium, under the rule and reign of Christ, the people of Israel will finally enjoy full and complete rest and will never be disturbed again. But this discussion of a place for Israel is just the setup for the most important part of the promise.

God then tells David that He will build David a house. David wanted to build God a house. But instead, God tells David that it will be God Himself that will be doing the building. Now God was not talking about a house in the sense of a physical building. David didn’t need a house; he already had a very nice palace. No, God was using the term “house” in a different sense. God was going to build David a dynasty—a hereditary monarchy. God was saying that David’s house would rule Israel forever. Today we sometimes use the term “house” in this way as well. When looking at the ruling families in England, for example, we talk about the House of Lancaster or the House of Windsor. In this sense, “house” refers to lineage or dynasty. God is promising David something Israel hadn’t had before: a hereditary monarchy. It will be David’s descendants that will always sit on the throne of Israel.

In this promise, God tells David that he will not be building the house for God that David so desired. God would, indeed, allow this to happen, but it would be a descendant of David who builds this house. And through a descendant of David, God, in return, would be building a different kind of house for David—a perpetual, hereditary monarchy that will rule His people forever. What does forever mean? It does not mean for a while, or until another kingdom comes. No, it means forever. Yes, there might be temporary interruptions along the way as history ebbs and flows—and as God’s people experience God’s promised curses for their disobedience. But this kingly line—and this nation—will always come back, because this is a forever promise. It is an unconditional, eternal covenant.

A most exciting part of this promise to David is that it unveils the next step in a long line of Messianic prophecies that foretell the coming of Christ. We saw the first of these Messianic prophecies back in Genesis 3:15, where God warned Satan that the “seed of the woman” would be his downfall. Then, to Abraham, God promised blessing through his seed—the ultimate of which would bless the whole world. And here, to David, God reveals that this promised seed would come from his own lineage. This is what is known as “progressive revelation.” God progressively reveals more and more of His plans as history unfolds, and as the need arises.

To summarize what we see in the Davidic Covenant, we see God promise David four eternal things: an eternal house or dynasty, an eternal throne, an eternal Kingdom, and an eternal descendant. The eternality of the first three is guaranteed because of the eternality of the fourth. The seed that is promised to David is ultimately the Eternal One Himself, the Messianic God-Man.

Discussion Questions

1. In this story, David’s son Amnon gets some advice from a friend. What is some of the best advice you have ever been given? What is some of the worst?

2. This story in 2 Samuel begins a lengthy, dark saga in the life of David. What details in this story stand out to you? What do you make of Amnon’s feelings for Tamar? Was this truly love? Why do you think Amnon ended up hating Tamar in the end? In addition to the assault, what are some other ways Tamar was wronged in this story? How was the rest of her life impacted by this one selfish act? While all sin is reprehensible in the eyes of God, why do you think sexual sin carries far more ramifications than other kinds?

3. How did David respond to this situation? What else do we learn about David as a parent in 2 Samuel? Why do you think David did not carry out the prescribed punishment for Amnon’s crimes? In the previous chapter, God promised that great calamity would befall the house of David, and this seems to be where it begins. What do we learn about God as a parent from stories like this? How has your understanding of God changed after having become a parent?

4. Why do you think some people believe that sexual sins are somehow less damaging because they can happen behind closed doors? What does it mean that the sins of the father affect the children to the 3^rd and 4^th generation? What is the difference between lust and love? Why do you think the world so easily confuses the two? In what ways does this story reflect societal and cultural attitudes of that time? How are things similar or different today?

5. What lessons does this chapter have for us today—regarding the danger of unchecked desires, the powerful effects advice can have, the consequences of passive leadership and parenting, and the long-term consequences our sin has on future generations? How might each of these appear in our lives today? What is one lesson you want to take action on this week in your own life?

Going Deeper

1. Read Deuteronomy 17:17 and discuss what problems David faced in his life for ignoring this command of God. What other commands of God did David ignore? What was the effect of David losing his moral authority in his own family because of the episode with Bathsheba? Why do you think it was said of David that he was “a man after God’s own heart” in light of these kinds of actions? What do you think it means to be a man after God’s heart?

2. How is Amnon’s sin similar to David’s sin? What do we learn about unbridled passion in both stories? What should both David and Amnon have done when confronted with these temptations? Amnon’s lust for Tamar likely started as a small thing—a look or a conversation—and then snowballed into inconceivably catastrophic sin. How can “little” sins or compromises in our lives blind us and later cause innumerable heartaches and pain? How do we avoid them? Amnon probably knew he wouldn’t be punished by David for his crime. What does this tell you about the way David raised his children?

Transformational Activity

Community

It’s been said that sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you are willing to pay. We must recognize that the enemy is prowling around like a hungry lion seeking those he may devour. Every day we must put on the full armor of God, that we may be able to withstand the devil’s schemes! What role does community play in our strategies to withstand the onslaught of the devil? How did Amon’s community fail him? Take some time this week to examine how your community has a positive, neutral, or negative impact on your pursuit of holiness. Ask God to give you the wisdom you need to make any needed changes.