James 1:19-27, 3:1-12 | Taming the Tongue

Taming the Tongue James 3:1-12

BIG IDEA: Our words are a mirror of our hearts, and taming the tongue requires heart transformation through God’s grace.”

V.1 There is a serious responsibility to use the tongue correctly. Words are a spiritual health test.

V.2-8 The Root of the Problem:

v. 2. Everyone stumbles. James 1:26. He says our faith is worthless if there is no attempt to control.

V.3-6 The tongue can cause a disproportion of damage! Prov. 18:21 The power of life and death are in the tongue, those who love it will eat its fruit.  Good fruit or bad. What kind will you eat?

V.7-8 No person can tame the tongue. Heart Condition: our motives are controlled by our heart.

V.9- Jonathan Edwards’ Resolutions: Resolved never to say anything against another but only if it is agreeable to the highest degree of Christian honor and love of mankind. Resolved never to speak evil of another except if there is a good call to it.

V.10-12 What comes out reveals what’s inside.

Steps to taming the tongue:

1. Give our failures to God- Repent and surrender your tongue to the one who can tame it.
2. Guard the Gate– Pr. 4:23 Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life. 

Prov. 21:23 Those who guard their tongue keep themselves from calamity. ABC’s-

1. Ask for Aid: Problem- Heart/Mouth connection that only the Lord can tame. Ps.141:3 Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.
2. Breathe before you Blurt: Be quick to listen; slow to speak (James 1:19)
3. Covenant Commitment- Decide in advance how to wield the mouth. Pr. 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.
4. Gobble the Good– James 1:21 humbly receive the implanted word. The root: What is informing your heart? What are you surrendered to? Matthew 12:34-37 Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Feed your tongue with Phil. 4:8 (speak only what is noble, true, good report…); Eph. 5:4 (trade complaints for thanksgiving); Eph. 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.
5.  Give an account- Mt. 12:36 everyone will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken“

Goal: Encouragement challenge from Ephesians 4:29. Avoid tearing down sarcasm and challenge yourself to encourage at least one person each day with one thing you appreciate about them and see what that does for you and others.

Grow Group Questions:

1. In light of James 3:9-12, reflect on a time when your words were used for harm rather than good. What did this reveal about your heart?
2. Jesus said, “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). What kinds of spiritual “garbage” or “good” do we as a culture allow into our hearts, and how does that affect our speech? How can you “gobble the good” this week (Phil. 4:8)?
3. What are some situations where you find it hardest to control your tongue? How can you apply James 1:19 (“quick to listen, slow to speak”) in those moments?
4. James 3:1 warns about the responsibility associated with speaking, especially teaching. How does this apply to teaching, parenting, mentoring, or even influencing others on social media? Who can hold you accountable in your speech?
5. This week, try to use your words only for building others up (Ephesians 4:29). Challenge yourself to encourage at least one person each day. Report back to the group on how this changed your mindset or relationships.

Extra credit NOTES (a.k.a. stuff that didn’t make the cut for the message but that you might find helpful for your quiet time):

Instead of the ABC’s from point 2- Guard the tongue, here are some more developed ideas on learning to control the tongue:

1. T.H.I.N.K. before you speak. Ask these questions.
   • T – Is it True?
   • H – Is it Helpful?
   • I – Is it Inspiring?
   • N – Is it Necessary?
   • K – Is it Kind?
2. S.T.O.P. (Before speaking)
   • S – Slow down (Be quick to listen, slow to speak – James 1:19)
   • T – Think (Does this glorify God?)
   • O – Observe (How will this impact others?)
   • P – Pray (Ask for wisdom before speaking)