James 4:1-5 | The Cause of Conflicts

The Cause of Conflicts James 4:1-5

Big Idea: Conflict arises from misdirected desires, and the way to stop it at the root is to reorder our desires toward God and express them in His will.

V.1 (Hedonism-immediate gratification) Inner desires war inside us Wrong actions and fights

V.2a. Gives an example of what V.1 looks like.

Problem:

Battle is over our immediate gratification and selfish desires. To stop conflict, this is what we need to stop. So, I really only have 2 choices, man centered philosophical systems or God’s way.

Man centered (two opposing false approaches):

1. Epicureanism– Live it up. If desire causes problems, just fulfill them.
   1. Why it doesn’t work:
      1. Desires are NEVER fully satisfied
      2. Leads to destructive behavior and addictions (because they can’t be satisfied)
      3. Destroys peace as we compete for limited resources.
      4. James 4:3 -even if we get what we want, we want more.
2. Stoicism (Buddhism)- Deaden those desires.
   1. Why it doesn’t work:
      1. Doesn’t solve root problem. We yearn/want because God yearns and we are made in his image.
      2. Denies the abundant life God intends for us.
      3. A form/attempt at self-salvation (pride).

God designed us to have desires and feelings and wants. We just need to yearn for the right things.

Solution: V.2b

God centered approach: Bring your desires to God.

But I did ask. Why didn’t I receive?

V.3 Bring your desires to God means aligning our desires with God’s will and His perfect plan for us.

God won’t answer self-centered prayers for many reasons:

1. Wrong motives. Spend it on your pleasures (hedonism again). Ps. 66:18
2. Wrong will. 1 John 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
3. Wrong Lord. When I pray my will be done, I am engaging in idolatry. Mt. 6:33.
4. Wrong heart. Phil. 2:3-4 tells us to do nothing out of selfish ambition.
5. Wrong result. God alone knows what is best for us.

V.4-5 when we chase after worldly values and priorities instead of God’s ways, it’s like being unfaithful in a relationship, adultery. Christianity teaches transformation through relationship with a personal God who “gives generously”.

How I stop conflict at the root – Transform the object and expression of our desires by:

1. Reordering Our Desires Toward God. How?
   1. RECOGNIZE and RELEASE: Look at your conflict and identify what’s behind your desires (success, recognition, possessions, etc.) and let go through repentance.
   2. REDIRECT: V.8 Draw near to God. What stops conflict is our nearness to God. How?
      1. REVELATION: By how he reveals himself in His Word
      2. RECOLLECTING: what he has done for me and others.
      3. REVERENCE: Worship and praying scripture.
2. Surrendering Our Desires to His Will.
   1. ASK: Bring your desires to God in prayer and ask God to shape our affections
   2. ALIGN: Compare your desires with God’s revealed will not my heart. Summary:

Experiencing His Word → Appreciation → Delight → Transformation → Spirit-led Living → Transformed Desires.

Grow Group Questions:

1. Examine your prayer motives – Am I seeking my will to be done, or God’s?
2. What are some everyday conflicts that arise in your life and identify what misdirected desires drive them? How can we align them with God?
3. How can we tell if our desires are aligned with God’s will or rooted in selfishness?
4. What practical steps can we take to “draw near to God” (James 4:8) and redirect our desires toward Him?
5. How does viewing God as our greatest treasure change the way we handle conflict and seek fulfillment?

Questions Parents Can Ask Their Kids to Generate a Discussion from the Message:

1. Have you ever seen two kids fight over a toy, even when they don’t really want it? Why do you think that happens?
   1. Explanation: The Bible says that fights and arguments happen because we want something really badly, and when we can’t get it, we get upset. It’s like a battle inside our hearts—we want things our way, and that leads to fights with others. But God wants us to bring our desires to Him instead of letting them control us.
2. If you could have anything right now, what would you pick? Do you think that would make you truly happy forever?
   1. Explanation: A lot of times, we think getting what we want will make us happy, but the Bible says we will always want more unless our desires are for God. Instead of just wanting stuff or things for ourselves, we should ask, “Does this make God happy too?” When we love God most, He helps us want the right things—things that bring true joy!
3. Have you ever asked for something but didn’t get it? Why do you think that happens?
   1. Explanation: Sometimes we ask God for things just because we want them, not because they’re good for us. The Bible says God knows what’s best, just like parents do! If we only pray for toys or candy, that’s like asking for money for school supplies but spending it on treats instead. God loves when we pray for His will, not just our own wants. A good prayer is asking God to help us love what He loves!