The 8 Arena’s – Relationships – John 13:34–35

The 8 Arenas of Life – Week 2 – Relationships

• Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought:

“Why do I feel so drained?”
“Why do I always have to be the one who apologizes?”
“Do they really care about me…

Or do they just want… what I can do for them?”

• Or maybe you’ve been in a room full of people
• Laughing, talking
• And still felt totally alone.
• The truth is:

Relationships can be one of the most beautiful and the most painful parts of our lives.

• They shape our identity,
• Influence our joy,
• And can either pull us closer to God
• Or push us further from Him.
• And no matter who we are,
• Our relationships,
• Good or bad, they are always shaping us.
• That’s what we’re exploring today
• In Week 2 of our series: The 8 Arenas of Life.
• Turn with me to

John 13:34–35

“I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

• The 8 arenas of Life
• Is more than a teaching series
• It’s a journey.
• And we’re asking one foundational question:

What Would Our Lives Look Like If Jesus Were The One Voice We Followed In Every Arena?

• Last week,
• We looked at the weight of many voices
• How our lives are formed by:
• Culture, people, content, and past experiences across eight arenas.
• We named them:
• Relationships
• Politics
• Education
• Money
• Work
• Identity
• Entertainment
• Faith
• And as many of us discovered,
• Jesus isn’t always the loudest voice we are listening to
• Sometimes
• If we’re honest
• He barely makes the list.
• But Jesus offers more than opinions.
• He offers a better way to live.
• We talked about how we’re all being discipled
• Shaped and formed by someone or something.
• We looked at Jesus’ words in

Matthew 11:28-30

²⁸ “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

• Where we discovered the word Yoke
• A farm tool used to pull to ox to help plow a field
• But we also learned it was more than just used for farming
• We learned the word Yoke was also part of a phrase used in that day
• Known as the “Rabbi’s Yoke,”
• A Rabbi’s Yoke was the way a teacher of that Day
• (Which Jesus Was)
• Interpreted scripture and then defined how those who followed them
• Should live their lives
• SO, when Jesus says these words
• He was inviting his followers
• To take His yoke
• His way of life
• His freedom he offers
• And find true rest from all the other voices
• To let his Voice be the only one that matters
• Today,
• We apply that invitation
• To one of the most emotionally charged arenas in our lives:

Relationships.

• Whether it’s family, dating, friendship, or coworkers
• Every relationship is shaped by a voice.
• Sometimes it’s culture.
• Sometimes it’s pain.
• Sometimes it’s pride or fear.
• And sometimes—thankfully—it’s the voice of Jesus.

So, here’s the question today:

What Would Your Relationships Look Like If Jesus Were Your One Voice?

• That’s what we’re going to find out together
• Starting with His words in

John 13:34

³⁴ “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another.

• Now Catch this
• Jesus doesn’t say, “Here’s a suggestion,”
• Or “Here’s a good idea to try.”
• He says: “This is a new command.”
• But loving others wasn’t a new concept.
• So, what made this command new?
• It was new because of who said it…
• It was new because of how he was calling us to love…
• And it was new because of “when” He said it
• It was Right before He would lay down His life.
• This wasn’t love as the world defines it.
• This wasn’t love as sentiment, or attraction, or convenience.
• This was Jesus saying:
• “Love each other like I’ve loved you.”
• Which brings us to our first point:

1. Love must be defined by Jesus, not the world around us.

• Let’s be honest:
• “love” is one of the most overused
• And underdefined words in our culture.
• We say we love God.
• We love tacos.
• We love our spouse.
• We love that new show on Netflix.
• Same word—very different meanings.
• But that’s the problem:
• When we let the world define love,
• We end up with a love that’s shallow, self-focused, and often fragile.
• The world says:
• “Love is about being true to yourself.”
• “Love means accepting everything and challenging nothing.”
• “Love is a feeling—you either have it, or you don’t.”
• “Love walks away when it’s no longer convenient.”
• But Jesus gives us a very different picture.
• In John 13,
• Just hours before going to the cross,
• Jesus is washing feet and loving people who will fail Him
• And He says:

“Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another.”

• That’s not casual.
• That’s costly.
• That’s not based on mood.
• That’s based on mission.
• So what does loving like Jesus look like?

Loving Like Jesus Means Sacrifice

• Jesus didn’t just feel love
• He showed it.

1 John 3:16 (CSB):
“This is how we have come to know love: He laid down his life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

• If love is only a feeling,
• It will fizzle out when relationships get hard.
• But if love is modeled after Jesus,
• It will endure through difficulty, disagreement, and even betrayal.
• To love like Jesus means:
• Being patient when people disappoint you.
• Serving when it’s inconvenient.
• Choosing to stay when it’s easier to leave.
• Speaking truth even when it risks discomfort.

Loving Like Jesus Means Initiating

• Jesus didn’t wait for us to get it together before He came to us.

Romans 5:8 (CSB):
“But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

• So when Jesus says,
• “Just as I have loved you,”
• He’s calling us to be
• The first to forgive,
• The first to reach out,
• The first to offer grace,
• The first to listen.
• That means with Jesus Love
• We don’t wait until someone earns our love
• We offer it because Jesus offered it to us.

Loving Like Jesus Means Holiness

• Jesus’ love is not permissive.
• It’s not indulgent.
• He loves sinners
• But He never affirms sin.
• He embraces people
• But He also calls them to repentance and new life.

John 8:11 (CSB):
“Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”

• So loving others like Jesus
• Doesn’t mean letting everything slide.
• It means holding grace and truth together.
• It means caring more about someone’s soul than keeping them comfortable.

Loving Like Jesus Means Living as a Witness

• Jesus closes this moment in John 13 with a powerful statement:

John 13:35

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

• The greatest evangelism strategy in the world is not a campaign
• It’s community.
• When the world sees believers:
• Forgiving each other,
• Serving one another,
• Staying in friendship through disagreement,
• Putting each other’s needs ahead of their own,
• They start to wonder:
• “Who are these people?
• What kind of God do they serve?”
• Your love for one another becomes a living invitation to know Jesus.

Practical Examples: Let’s apply this in different relational areas:

• Marriage –
• Love like Jesus by serving when you’re tired,
• Forgiving when you’re hurt,
• And sacrificing when it’s not fair.
• Friendship –
• Love like Jesus by showing up,
• Telling the truth even when it’s hard,
• And choosing faithfulness over flattery.
• Family –
• Love like Jesus by honoring your parents,
• Being patient with your kids,
• And giving grace when it’s undeserved.
• Church –
• Love like Jesus by staying in community
• Even when people let you down,
• And by building up instead of tearing down.
• So if love isn’t defined by feelings but by Jesus
• Then we’ve got to ask the next hard question:

Who is Shaping the Way I Love Others? Who’s Forming My Approach to Relationships?

• Because, as we have already learned,
• Our closest connections are discipling us every day.
• Which brings us to point 2

2. Your Closest Relationships Shape Your Life

Proverbs 13:20 (CSB): tells us
“The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm.”

• Let’s be real
• We underestimate just how much our relationships shape us.
• We may think We are making our own decisions…
• But over time,
• The people around us are shaping our thoughts,
• Normalizing our behaviors,
• And feeding our fears or our faith.
• Who we spend the most time with will shape who we become.
• Proverbs 13:20 isn’t complicated
• But it’s life-altering.
• Walk with the wise—you grow wise.
• Do life with fools—and harm will come.
• This isn’t about being judgmental.
• It’s about being honest.
• Here’s the thing about relationships:
• They don’t always shout—they whisper.
• They shape us slowly over time…
• Spend enough time with complainers, and you’ll become cynical.
• Walk with people who gossip, and you’ll start to devalue others.
• Stick with the spiritually apathetic, and your passion will fade.
• Get close to people who are pursuing Jesus, and you’ll find yourself wanting to know Him more deeply.
• Paul warns us in

2 Corinthians 6:14 (CSB):

“Do not be yoked together with those who do not believe…”

• Like we learned Last week, as it relates to Ox pulling a cart
• To be yoked means to be bound together, pulling in the same direction.
• If the people you’re tied to aren’t following Jesus,
• It’s going to pull you off course.
• You may love them.
• You may have a history with them.
• But who you let your life be aligned will shape who you are.

Some Reflection Questions to Consider:

• Who are the top three people shaping your spiritual direction right now?
• Are they helping you walk toward Jesus—or away from Him?
• Are you in a relationship—romantic or friendship—that is consistently pulling you into sin, compromise, or confusion?
• What relationships do you need to invest more in because they stir your love for Jesus?
• So if your relationships
• Really do shape your direction,
• And if Jesus has already defined what real love looks like…
• Then what do we actually do with all of this?
• What happens when we realize
• That some of our closest connections aren’t aligned with Jesus at all?
• That brings us to our final—and most practical—point.

3. Following Jesus Means Surrendering Our Relationships to His Lordship

• Jesus Wants to Be Lord of our Relationships
• Not Just Lord of our Sunday at church
• Many of us are comfortable calling Jesus “Lord” in church.
• We’ll worship, take notes, even post about it online.
• But then we leave, and we don’t actually let Him lead.
• We’ll say “Jesus is Lord”
• But we keep full control over who we spend time with…
• Who we forgive…
• Who we allow to speak into our lives…
• And how we treat people who hurt us.

Matthew 6:24 (CSB):
“No one can serve two masters… You cannot serve both God and money.”

• This principle isn’t limited to money.
• You can’t serve God and bitterness.
• You can’t follow Jesus and cling to that toxic relationship.
• You can’t worship Jesus and still let your past dictate how you relate to people.
• If Jesus is Lord, then He’s Lord here, too.
• Jesus being Lord means we have surrendered our lives to his
• When we surrender our relationships to Jesus, we are saying:

“Jesus, I Trust That Your Way is Better Than Mine—Even When it Costs Me.”

Proverbs 3:5–6 (CSB):
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

• You may not understand
• Why He’s calling you to walk away from a relationship…
• You may feel scared or uncertain…
• But obedience is not about always understanding—it’s about trust.
• Here’s the beautiful thing about surrender:

God Never Takes Something From Us Unless He Plans to Give Us Something Better.

• That “better” might be peace.
• It might be growth.
• It might be a renewed mind.
• Or it might be a new relationship centered on Christ.
• But it will always be closer to Him.
• Let me show you

John 15:10–11 (CSB):
“If you keep my commands you will remain in my love… I have told you these things so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.”

• Something better…Not Just Joy…But complete Joy!
• Something that may not always make sense to the world around us
• But will fill our hearts even in the most difficult times

• Let’s be honest:
• Every one of us has failed in relationships.
• We’ve said things we shouldn’t have said.
• We’ve stayed silent when we should have spoken up.
• We’ve held on to bitterness, clung to control, or walked away too soon.
• We’ve allowed the wrong people too much influence.
• We’ve loved selfishly, conditionally, or not at all.
• And deep down, we carry the guilt, the shame, the weight of relational regret.
• But here’s the good news:
• Jesus didn’t come for the perfect.
• He came for the broken.
• He entered a world full of betrayal, conflict, and division.
• And He Himself was:
• Betrayed by a close friend (Judas)
• Denied by someone He loved (Peter)
• Abandoned by the crowd He fed and healed
• Crucified by the very people He came to save
• And what did He do in return?
• He loved them.
• He forgave them.
• He stayed.
• He died.

Romans 5:8 (CSB):
“But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

• Jesus carried the weight of all our brokenness
• Which included our broken relationships
• And he took them to the cross
• Through his death, burial and resurrection
• He offers us a new identity,
• A new family,
• And a new way to live.
• Not only does He give us an example of love…
• He gives us the power to love like Him.
• If you have never Asked Jesus to do this for you
• If you have never experienced Him taking your brokenness
• And your sin
• Then today is your day

So let me ask again…

• Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking:
  “Why do I feel so drained?”
  “Why am I always the one apologizing?”
  “Do they even care about me—or just what I can do for them?”
• Maybe you’ve been surrounded by people
• And still felt completely alone.
• If that’s you,
• I want you to hear this clearly:
• Jesus sees you.
• He knows your story.
• He understands your ache.
• And unlike any relationship you’ve ever had
• He will never use you.
• He will never abandon you.
• The truth is,
• Many of us have spent years trying to earn love,
• Manage dysfunction,
• Or heal from wounds people caused.
• But there is one relationship that is steady, safe, and eternally secure:
• Your relationship with Jesus.
• He is the only One
• Who can love you without condition,
• Lead you without control,
• Correct you without shame,
• And stay with you through every failure.
• He will never manipulate you.
• He will never withhold His love.
• He already gave everything
• So you could walk in freedom.
• And that’s why today’s message
• Isn’t just about people
• It’s about a Person.
• The only reason we can love others well…
• Is because we’ve been loved perfectly by Him.
• So, here’s the final question:

What would your relationships look like if Jesus were your One Voice?

• Not the voice of culture.
• Not the voice of fear or loneliness.
• Not the voice of shame.
• But the voice of the One who went to the cross to call you friend.
• Today is not a moment of pressure
• It’s a moment of peace.
• Jesus is inviting you to come to Him…
• To take His yoke…
• And to find rest for your soul.
• So, let’s not walk out in guilt.
• Let’s walk forward in grace.
• Let’s give Him our hearts.
• Let’s trust Him with our relationships.
• Let’s follow One Voice—together.
• Let’s pray.