“A Oneness Mindset” (Marriage)

“A Oneness Mindset” (Marriage) 

Pastor Josiah Nordgren

September 28, 2025

…He left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭(NIV‬‬)

Your marriage matters to Christ.

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19‬:‭4‬-‭6‬ ‭(NIV‬‬)

After God creates oneness, we must contend for it. 

“‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh.”

Matthew 19:5-6

For two to join, two must die.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭2‬:‭5‬-‭8‬ ‭(NIV‬‬)

The mind of Christ is marked by sacrifice of self.

• Die to your thoughts.
• Die to your @%*! speech.
• Die to your distance.
• Die to your selfishness.

​​Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4‬-‭7‬ ‭(NIV)‬‬

Discussion Questions

A Oneness Mindset (Marriage) 

This week we continued in our series, The Mind of Christ. In Philippians 2:5, the Apostle Paul says:

“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”

Each week we’re looking at how the mind of Christ shows up in different relationships. Today we focused on how it shapes our attitude in our marriages. 

We talked a lot about dying.  For our marriage to live and thrive there must be a daily dying to ourselves (our pride, our selfishness, our need to be right, to have the last word, etc.)

Today we have two sets of questions, one for ‘Ohana Groups (even if you’re unmarried) and one for couples to do together. 

Groups

1. Read Matthew 19:1-6.  What stuck out to you most from the message or the Scripture?
2. How does Jesus’ view of marriage differ from the world’s?
3. What does your selfishness often look like in your marriage (if you’re unmarried what does it look like in your relationships)?
4. Out of the “4 things to die to” which one is the one you need to work on the most and why (if you’re unmarried this can apply generally to relationships)?
5. In light of this, what do you want to do differently this week? Pray. 

Married Couples

*If your spouse didn’t watch the message, see if they would be willing to watch it before your discussion.  Find a quiet moment to talk through these together. 

1. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 slowly together. 

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.  Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

Which attributes of love do you desire to see more of in our marriage?

2. Ask each other, “What are some ways I love you well?”
3. Of the “4 ways to die” talked about in the sermon, which one do you feel you need to die to the most (thoughts, speech, distance, selfishness)? 
4. Break apart for 5 minutes, write down 3 things you need from each other (encouragement, serving, intimacy, listening etc.).  Come back together and share that with each other. 
5. Pray for each other for strength.  
6. End by letting your spouse know how much they mean to you.