“Forgiving Those Who’ve Wronged Us”

“Forgiving Those Who’ve Wronged Us”

Pastor Alec Shimizu

October 26, 2025

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” 

Matthew 18:21-35 (NIV)

Because God loves us, He will discipline us if we refuse to forgive others.

We are tortured by our unforgiveness.

If we are cherishing our unforgiveness and we refuse to let it go, we must ask ourselves if God truly rules in our heart.

Forgiveness doesn’t produce salvation. Forgiveness is a result of salvation.

Forgiveness happens over time as we stop focusing on what others have done to us, and focus instead on what Jesus has done for us.

“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, As we also have forgiven our debtors.”

Matthew 6:9-12 (NIV)

Discussion Questions

1. There are understandable reasons why people don’t forgive (e.g. forgiveness seems impossible,fear of letting the offender off the hook, holding onto control, etc.). Can you relate to any of these reasons? If you’ve ever had a difficult time forgiving someone, what was your reason?
2. The message quoted John Piper, who distinguishes between struggling to forgive (which is normal) and having a settled position of unforgiveness. How might someone know if they are simply struggling in the process or if they have made a conscious choice to cherish a grudge?
3. It’s been said that harboring unforgiveness is like ‘drinking poison while waiting for the other person to die’. Has there ever been a time when holding onto bitterness ended up hurting you more than the person who offended you?
4. Forgiving others is a process that often happens over time. What is the smallest practical thing you can do this week to move away from bitterness and begin the gradual process of forgiveness and healing?
5. 1st century Jewish rabbis taught that we should forgive three times. What are some drawbacks of having a limit on our forgiveness? How might living by Christ’s standard of unlimited forgiveness fundamentally change the way you relate to others?